that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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