nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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