I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she looked like the before picture.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
