4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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