just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize