textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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