i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
