You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
