saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize