Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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