We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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