he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
