Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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