break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
