I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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