what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
