In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
