Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
