This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
