remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
