Only a mothe r could love this liver
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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