Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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