just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
