i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize