O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
