You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What a dumb baby whore.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
