Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
