We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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