We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
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And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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