You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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