why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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