why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
