Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
