okay pat passed out under dana's car
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
