You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
