he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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