I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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