I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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