Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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