is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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