i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
