I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
