so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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