dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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