We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
