I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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