watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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