We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
