my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
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Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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