ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
