very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
