You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize