I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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