dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
