Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
