69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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