I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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