just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
