We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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