Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
