Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
