One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
this hospital has no fireball
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
