I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
