So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
