Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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