You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
