I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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