Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize