Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have so many feelings about this burrito
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize