didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I will be naked everywhere
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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