Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just cropdusted the office
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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