Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
